MY TESTIMONY

It’s never too late to realize your dreams!

I believe I represent a large group of people who have not yet realized their dreams. I was five years old when I knew had a dream to sing. But for most of my life, I struggled with feelings of rejection and low self-esteem. I felt undervalued, misunderstood, limited, overlooked and unimportant. Driven by my pursuit of perfection, I ALWAYS felt that I was not good enough and so I never felt the music I had written was good enough to share with others. This unfulfilled dream left me doubting whether I would fulfill my life’s purpose. Therefore I settled for other endeavors, but I could not escape the lingering presence of pain deep inside my heart. As the years passed, it seemed like my dream of singing and recording the songs God had given to me was fading away.  But God is so gracious that even when I lost sight of this dream, He never gave up on me. Even when I was faithless, He remained faithful! Here I am today at 55 years old, living the dream that God has promised. Today, I also stand in solidarity with those of you who are still hurting, who are still trying to find your way and have not yet come “full circle.” I want to encourage you, life is a journey and a process…do not give up! IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO REALIZE YOUR DREAMS! If God did it for me, I know that He can also do it for you. He did not give up on me and I know that He has not given up on you or your dreams.

Most of my songs lived in a box on my bookshelf for many years

I humbly admit that God has graciously given me some beautiful songs. But sadly, these songs lay dormant on my bookshelf in a box for many years because this creative outlet of my life was “trapped” and placed on “mute” as I experienced repeated rejection and denial of a platform to share my songs. In frustration I said, “That’s it! I’m not doing this anymore! Lord, if you want me to continue to pursue music, YOU do it!” I was so hurt and had COMPLETELY given up!  Without a doubt, I KNEW that that was not what God intended when He downloaded them into my spirit. I was certain these songs contained a message and were given to me for a purpose, considering God literally used them to heal me from hurt, pain and disappointments during many difficult times of hardship and sorrow. God continued to download song after song to me in my sleep and I would awake to the sound of these “heavenly tunes” which were so amazingly beautiful, complete with full accompaniment of the orchestras and choirs. I was convinced I had been given a glimpse of worship in heaven! Consequently, “Heavenly Downloads” became the name of my company and ministry in 2009, but it took another 7 years before I would see the beginning of fruit.

God honors humility, obedience and total surrender

As I look back at this painful process, I am reminded of the fact that God honors humility, obedience and total surrender. In my brokenness, I surrendered my dream to God. I was tired of being disappointed. I was at the end of myself. And, in an attempt to avoid rejection, I decided to “shield” myself from the pain of being shut down by hiding my gifts. But I look back now and I am so thankful that even when I gave up on myself, God did not give up on me. We should never hide our gifts and talents because our gifts are not for us, and they are certainly not meant for our bookshelves.  Our gifts are given to us to develop and to share with others. There is purpose behind each dream that God has placed inside your heart. Despite my effort to hide my musical gifting for a while, my pastors “detected” my gift and encouraged me to pick it up again and said, “ this is your ministry.” Then they asked me to do weekly worship. But for the grace of God, and my simple obedience in stepping out on God’s calling, my course was forever changed; my destiny was set in motion and a new chapter started in my life.  THANK YOU JESUS!

My assignment and timing to record this album came as a total surprise

The opportunity to record this album came through the most unimaginable circumstances and as a total surprise to me. Because of the obedience of godly people, the Lord put me in the path of the incredible singer/songwriter/producer and worshipper, Glacia Robinson, who later introduced me to her manager and husband, Emerson Ally. God strategically used them to “resurrect” what was buried inside of me.

But really this divine appointment was set in motion from two different places. It all started with me riding in my friend Tanya Jones’ car in the summer of 2013. She was playing incredible beautiful music and I was overtaken by the worship that filled her car, I asked who is this singer? Where did you find her? Turned out our friends Hubie & Vicki Synn had given her the CD’s and it was Glacia Robinson singing. I couldn’t wait to get home and find all the albums online so I could continue to worship. I later asked Hubie, who is this Glacia Robinson? I need to meet this woman of God! He explained they are friends and that next time she does a concert he will bring me to meet her. I continued to listen to her songs and even incorporated some of her songs in my own worship sessions.

Then from a completely different angle, about 9 months later and through my Arbonne business, I was launching a new partner, Charmaine DaCosta, and at that event I met Rinella & Donald Bolt. They wanted to hear more about the business so I spent some time talking to them. They both agreed they should host an event for Charmaine and started thinking out loud of a list of people to invite, I barely listened as it seemed to be their own private conversation, but when I heard the name “Glacia Robinson” I said, “Wow! Wait! Did you just say Glacia Robinson?’ And they said ‘yes.” I said, “as in the one who worships?” And they said, “yes” again. I shared how I had been listening to her worship music and even started singing some of her songs, and how I would love to meet her. A few months after that, I was invited to Rinella and Donald’s house for a lunch meeting to discuss Arbonne. There was woman there, Norah (Pam) Harper, who turned out to be Glacia’s mother! Rinella told me to share my story with Norah, so I did. When Norah and I realized we had common friends, Hubie and & Vicki Synn, we both got so excited! We then all had a moment of prayer prior to eating lunch. Immediately after prayer Norah looked me straight in the eyes with a very decisive look and declared, “You will be singing with my daughter.“ I was dumbfounded. “How can you say that?” I asked. “Because you will,” she replied. “But you haven’t even heard me sing?”  I replied.  With a level of certainty and faith that I could not understand, Norah said, “I don’t have to!”

When it was time to leave, Norah and I exchanged information. I was amazed at the declaration she made earlier. Even though I immediately perceived that she was a woman of God, I still found it hard to believe I would actually or eventually hear from Glacia. “People talk, even Christians talk,” I said to myself, “so I’m just going to ‘file this experience away’ as a ‘cool thing’ that happened and not expect anything.” But lo and behold, a few months later I got a phone call from Norah who was wondering why I was not replying to Glacia’s emails? I was shocked to hear this because I had not gotten any emails from her. For sure if I had, I would totally have answered! So Norah gave me Glacia’s email and asked me to reach out to her. I did, but never heard from her.

The Divine Meeting

I remember so well when I met Glacia for the first time. Another few months had passed, and we both had ended up in a casual worship session at our friends Hubie and Vicki Synn’s house. I had no idea that she was going to be there, but God had it all planned. As we started talking I learned that that she had not received my emails either! It was as if the enemy really wanted to stop our divine meeting!

We talked for a while and then she invited me to sing along with her while Emerson skillfully played the guitar in the background. We started to harmonize and I sang a few bars into the song and then she stopped me! Gosh! My stomach sank with fear…I started to wonder…did I sing something wrong? Was I pitchy? But that’s so far from the truth. Glacia stopped me and started to speak into my life and minister to me. She said, “Wow! Helen, you are a worshipper! What are you doing with this amazing gift that God has so lavishly given to you? Are you recording? Have you released any CDs? I am sure you have a lot of songs inside of you…what are you doing with them Helen? The nations are waiting to sing along with you…the nations are waiting to join in worship with those songs that God has given to you…what are you doing about this Helen? It’s time for you to step out in faith to take hold of your calling and destiny in this aspect of your life! This is your season Helen! This is your season!”

With a very direct, stern and yet tender tone, she continued to speak into my life! With tears in my eyes, I soaked up every word. Now, we were about to leave Hubie’s house and our “divinely appointed meeting” was about to come to an end. As we started to say our goodbyes, Glacia began to hand me copies of her albums, then at a moments notice, it seemed like something shifted in her spirit and she swiftly took the CDs back.  She asked me to extend my hands another time, I did, and as I held the CDs she placed her hands on top of mine and said, “These CDs represent your CDs Helen! That’s it, we are putting the devil to shame. It’s time for you to record and release the music that God has invested inside of you. It’s time Helen! We are making your album! It’s time Helen! This is your time to come into your true place as a worshipper…it is your time to shine in Jesus name! If not now . . . then when?”

God brings my dream to life

Before I could really grasp what was going on, Glacia followed up with me. I honestly admit, I did not expect her to, I did not want to get my hopes up only to get disappointed again, so I had quickly settled for the notion that people talk…people make promises…yeah…even Christians…they talk. But before long Glacia introduced me to her team of professional musicians and singers in NYC and also to one of her producers, Mark Brown. To my amazement, they were all READY to support me in making this album! Mark tweaked his schedule to accommodate me and gave me “Glacia’s production and studio rates” and he was ready to record my songs in a heartbeat! They all embraced me as a part of the GRM family. Glacia and Emerson were there with me every step of the way. They held my hand through this process, sacrificing so much to help me through this journey. I have learned so much from them. They caused me to believe once again that dreams do come true. This album is the fulfillment of my childhood dream! This is why I can truly say, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REALIZE YOUR DREAMS!

Through the years, my songs have been my heart’s solace. They have provided healing for my soul and freedom in my mind.  And when I felt like giving up, these songs gave me hope again and again. In my silent struggles with hopelessness and despair, as I listened to each melody, God gave me a reason to live; I found a reason to keep on going for another day.  

I am so thankful that these songs are no longer in the box on my bookshelf…they are no longer just songs “floating around” in my heart and buzzing inside my head. Through God’s grace, I am able to share them with you today. This dream is now tangible! This dream has become a reality! And it is with uttermost joy that I introduce you to my debut album…Highest Praise.

It is my hearts desire that you will be blessed by this project. And as you embrace God’s true love and hope for your life, never forget that your destiny is set before you. You are valuable, you are loved, and you have been given the tools to succeed. You have what it takes to fulfill your dreams so pursue your dreams NOW. Will you step out in faith to fulfill God’s purpose and destiny for your life? Will you step out of the boat? It’s never too late to realize your dreams!